I'm trying this new thing where I'm happy with where I'm at and with where I'm going. I'm also trying to be more open and admit that not everything is going perfectly for me all the time, despite what everyone else proclaims on social media. Let's be real, rarely does anyone take to Facebook to announce that they've been unemployed, or they're still living at home, or they have four cavities (I have talked about cavities though).
It all started as I was shifting around the contents of my resume for the 50th time. When I'm sitting on my couch checking e-mails, dreaming of the day I beat 2048 I'm not actively aware of how much work I'm actually doing. I only see the downfalls, the mistakes, the setbacks and the happiness that so many have seemed to find but me. I'm trying to change that. So, when I finally saw my newly done resume and I finally saw a bulleted lists of my accomplishments I think it hit me, I should be happy where I am. Even if where I am right now isn't what I envisioned.
I've had an eternal dream of being a magazine writer, of owning a swanky downtown office with city views and hot dudes walking past. It's the kind of dream I've kept even when I don't believe in it anymore. In college I nearly failed my first journalism course. That's not something I've shared openly. I've told very few of my friends. It was the first course I could take and the course that sort of set where I'd be going. Two teachers told me entertainment writing wasn't a career option, internet writing wouldn't happen for me.
For a while I've always kind of believed that. I tried to measure my success by others, and compare myself to so many in my graduating class. I'd want to know what they were doing, and I'd check to make sure I wasn't the only one lagging behind. I'd be embarrassed to admit I still lived at home, and I don't always tell people because I think I should be embarrassed? 18-year-old Lauren writing in her diary about a hot new crush didn't see herself turning 25 and living at home.
Here's the thing though, and maybe it's just all the X-Files I started binge watching, but life is so fleeting. Truthfully, at any time, I could go. That's scary and weird to be aware of, but it's true. So, I should be happy with where I am right now. That's easier said than done when you screw up your self-employment taxes for the first year and owe a couple hundred to the IRS, but it's important. I want to follow my dreams, no matter where they take me, and no matter what others may say. I hope you do the same.