On Monday, Kaitlyn posted about how she likes to write about other people. She said she's never too thrilled to write about herself. While I completely understand this, I find I'm the opposite. Sure, I love telling people's stories through the written word, but when it comes to something raw and poignant and honest and real, I like to write about myself.
One of my favorite shows, American Horror Story, featured a monologue this season that started like this:
"I am a millennial. Generation Y - born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us the global generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism."
While I don't consider myself a narcissist, I do find writing about myself easy. I usually don't share my writing with many people, but I like all of you. This isn't a super current piece, and it's probably not finished (most of my writing never is), but here's something personal:
I only watched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia because you loved it so much. I binged five seasons of that crap because I thought if I had one finger for each season your hand would never lose mine.
I coveted your freckled arms and the way the sun changed your eyes from green to blue. I looked past your addiction to alcohol, hoping I would become your whiskey of choice. I thought I could fix you.
You drank a puddle. You drank a lake. You drank a damn ocean.
You were vulnerable and broken. I wasn’t. But you made me want to be. I turned into a clichéd character trope, hanging on your every word. I scalpelled out the parts myself that made me who I am and transplanted in parts of you.
I didn’t get bangs when I wanted because you scoffed at the idea. I know you never listened to the mix I made because you assumed it was indie crap. I told you all my secrets only to watch you write them down and send them like a paper airplane out into the world.
You picked your poison and it wasn’t me. I made myself physically sick when you left.
With a self-diagnosed case of Little Mermaid Syndrome, my biggest problem wasn’t that I changed myself for you – it was that I should have changed for me.
But I’m learning how to be me again.
I like what I like, and I won’t be ashamed of it. I like Sufjan Stevens and One Direction. I’ll never pick up another Jack Kerouac book, but I’ll rave about J.K. Rowling until the day I die. I’ve always enjoyed melodramas like Dawson’s Creek and The O.C. And I hate It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.