Love vs. Distance

By: Tenley 

I don’t believe in long distance relationships.

It’s true.  But, before you call me a bitter wannabe cat-lady you should know that I am a self-proclaimed queen of LDRs.  Yes, a brilliant navigational queen.  I have been in relationships that have spanned the state, country, continent and am currently in a LDR which is only about a 3-hour drive. (That is if you don’t haphazardly miss your exit. But, hey, T-Swift was playing and you can’t blame me.) I have spent more nights falling asleep to the sound of Skype shutting down than beside the person I adore.  I’ve memorized time-zone differences and have become erudite about flight deals and how much make-up I can strategically pack in a zip-lock baggie.  Sometimes, I wonder why my life is a pattern of long distance, but that’s a whole deal for another day.  Just know for now that I am the queen.

Yup, I’m a walking and kissing contradiction.  I used to believe that love > distance. I used to even look up little quotes about “love knowing no bounds” and blah blah blah. I know nearly every song that is about missing your significant other and I would be lying if I said that not every boyfriend has proclaimed “Such Great Heights” by the Postal Service “our song”.  This stuff is all BS.  All of this nonsense really says nothing about human nature or human relationships at all.

Glorifying the LDR makes the relationship seem acceptable for the duration of the relationship, as if human touch and side-by-side experience are not a priority.  Those cheesy quotes romanticize the separateness. But that separateness is not romantic and longing for one another is just that. And sometimes the loneliness can outweigh the love.  Yet, it’s impossible to tell because you don’t spend enough time together to figure that out.  I have made this very mistake before and even before that.

Yes, these LDRs have helped me grow and develop some worthy communication skills and a great awareness of how couples can/should interact. And yes, I am crazy head over heels in love with the boy who lives miles away.  But that doesn’t mean I believe people in love are meant to be apart.  I think there is a better way to look at these LDRs.

I think looking at the distance as a transitional period before you are both within constant handholding proximity is a way more realistic and even healthier way to go about the relationship. This way a couple will know from the get-go if the relationship is worth it.  If you can’t imagine wanting to be with that person for-let’sfaceit-ever then it may not be worth the nunnery treatment of waiting for the other person.  And if I’m honest, once you know your LDR is merely temporary your mind becomes suddenly clear. You either want in or out. And those that want in never feel pressure. I want in and because I know my other half does too, I rarely feel alone. I don’t believe in distance, but I do believe in us.

Yes, I don’t believe in long distance relationships, but I whole-hearted believe in the PEOPLE who are in them.

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We're Sarah and Kaitlyn, roommates from Milwaukee who started this blog to promote creativity and life.
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